The Overwhelming Nature of Being Alive
In this article, I discuss some recent global events that may be distressing to some readers. Please use your discretion in reading this article. If you are in crisis, and in Australia, please reach out for help and call Life Line on 13 11 14
The Victorians talked a lot about death but didn’t like to talk about sex. By contrast, we talk a lot about sex but don’t talk much about death. It seems we don’t talk about death unless we are forced to.
Often, when death is found in our current culture it’s represented in entertainment and in the form of the un-dead; vampires, spirits and the practices of mediumship. We are fascinated by and look at death through the perspectives of those who refuse to leave the world of the living.
Or, as more recently, we collide with death. And as the 2020s began, we spectacularly crashed into the subject on mass scale; in Australia, the country-wide fires brought us the blackening of the land and death of animals, people and livelihoods. A couple of months later, the circumstances surrounding a person’s death in respect to race burst into the collective consciousness that sparked a blaze of outrage and despair, that spiralled into violence against property and person. And how could we forget the once in a lifetime invisible threat that dominated the first 2 years of the new decade across the globe. Contagion, sudden disaster and apparent injustices have confronted us daily, with a 24 hr, international news cycle that anyone can access, or participate in. Facts now have ‘alternatives’, the profession of journalism includes kids in school, the political is always personal and when I say personal I mean emotionally charged. It’s enough to push anyone way over the edge of their comfort zone.
Putting aside the various complexities surrounded these events that ushered in the decade, result has been a widespread loss of trust and faith in providence, truth and good will.
So how can we respond in a way that supports life?
From a certain perspective, we have one thing to thank these events for:
They remind us, on a universal scale, that we all feel a lot of things we don’t enjoy experiencing.
Most often, these are thoughts and feelings around fear, grief, sadness and loss.
The fear of loss, if traced to the original source is the fear of the final loss.
And the ultimate loss any person can experience is the loss of one’s life, one’s existence.
And this is very unsettling for us. It’s clear that no-one is comfortable with existential loss.
From a therapeutic point of view, when we are ready to feel that which we do feel, but don’t want to, and if we can sit within the discomfort to allow the feelings to be seen, heard and responded to, we find a window for liberation has opened up for us.
Some practical steps you can take to feel seen and feel heard:
1. Write down your feelings each morning. Give yourself at least 10 mins to be on your own and let it out on to the page. Just list the feelings as they arise, without judgement or explanation. “Tired, calm, annoyed, patient, teary, rage, regretful, grateful” etc. Keep going until you have written for at least 10 mins and there are no more words. You will discover the feelings that felt like concrete may dissipate or change immediately, or over time, as long as you allow yourself to feel and acknowledge them as you write. In this practice you are dignifying your emotional self and noticing what is recurring and needs your attention and what is impermanent.
This is a shorter and more simplified practice of what Julia Cameron calls “Morning Pages” and can be found in The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity (1992). An excellent resource for anyone wanting to unblock their creativity and encourage their artistic curiosities.
2. Give yourself 5 mins to explore your embodied . Close your eyes and with your inner vision, scan your body and see where your attention goes. Just spend 5 mins paying kind attention to that space inside you. The felt-sense feelings that may come up might be painful or uncomfortable but just give them your attention. You might like to give them a name. Ask them why they are here. Wait for the answer. Honour the messages you receive. You may discover that once these felt senses and feelings in the body as acknowledged, they tend to be relieved. This practice can be very useful if you are struggling to go to sleep.
This is a beginning practice which is based of Laury Rappaport’s Focussing-Oriented (2008) techniques, to access the body’s wisdom. These practices are adapted and frequently form part of many arts therapist’s strategies to bring healing to client’s lives through the subtle expression of inner intelligence.
3. Get out pen and paper and just draw. You can doodle, you can make a self portrait, literal or metaphorical. For example you could be a tree, a weather system, a garden or a fairytale. You can draw those you love who are closest to you. You can even draw how you would prefer to be, internally, such as more calm, more hopeful, more connected to those you love or want to love. Look for the emotions that you feel while doing this. Do not judge what emerges onto the page or into your awareness. Just allow yourself to express and feel what is in that moment. Share your work with others if you feel safe and comfortable doing so.
Especially in times of crisis, we need to find ways to pay attention to what we feel. Death, fear and loss in all their forms will call us for our attention throughout our lives. These times are universally uncomfortable in the present and possibly feel unbearable. Of course if you would prefer to do these exercises and more in the presence and safety of an attuned arts therapist, please reach out on the contacts page.
The good news is, it’s not all bad news. There is a way forward.
Through finding a way to notice and be with our inner world, our being, we find we have more capacity to be others in a less disorganised, clingy or distanced way. We can be more stable, self assured and confident in the presence of others. The more we attend to our inner realities with kindness and compassion, the more we can move beyond that which we feel we cannot bear in this life and into vitality; living without the fight not to feel, the struggle not to know. We are able to see more clearly and know more confidently that we can grow beyond the fear, or whatever it is that is bothering us simmering just outside our window of consciousness. By being open to the full spectrum of our feeling and allowing ourselves to experience that from which we habitually run, we move through the darkened labyrinth of our minds and find our way into the sunlit garden where more growth and resources are available to us.
Like me, I’m sure you can appreciate this might seem difficult. Especially in a time of ongoing crisis.
The thought of death, the thought of an unavoidable and sudden, final separation from what we know is not welcome for most of us. But when we lift such a heavy subject matter together through the acts of empathetic listening and communal holding in arts therapy, we might find an emotional freedom in our daily living that inspires us to shine brighter on the path for ourselves and for others.
References:
Cameron, J. (1992). The Artist’s Way. Tarcher.
Rappaport, L. (2008). Focusing-oriented art therapy : accessing the body’s wisdom and creative intelligence. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.